Alex J. Nagem © April 24, 2022

Me:        God! Do you have time to talk?

God:      You know I always have time for my children. What is on your mind, as if I didn’t already know?

Me:        If you already know, why do you wait for me to ask before you answer or help me? Wait, I can answer that. You are waiting for me to rely on you, to turn to you for help as a child turning to parents, right?

God:      You are learning, slowly, but nonetheless, you are learning to rely on me more and know my ways.

Me:        Well, yes. You have guided, sustained, and sheltered me. Now, I feel awkward even asking my question.

God:      You should not feel awkward. I am your father. I am understanding. I am the ultimate love you cherish and desire.

Me:        You do make it easy, Heavenly Father. Oh, but my question. Well, here goes. I do rely on you. I do trust you. But there is an uncertainty in my life that causes me anguish. I am a traveler who does not always know the meaning of the journey you have me on. Can I know the meaning of the journeys before I set out on them for you?

God:      You, my son, have many prayers you recite to me each day. In one specific prayer of Fr. Mychal Judge you ask, “Lord, take me where You want me to go. Let me meet who You want me to meet. Tell me what You want me to say. And keep me out of your way.” You are not asking to be guided somewhere specific, meeting someone specific, or wanting to say something specific. All you ask is that I keep you out of the way of my journey for you. Think of this journey as a short trip I am asking you to take with Me. I am not sending you alone. I am always with you, though your anguish may have you focus your mind elsewhere. Didn’t I have Isaiah write, “For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, Fear not, I will help you.’”  Isn’t this my promise to support and help you through every trial?

Me:        There you go answering my question with a question.

God:      Well, if I am answering your question with a question, I got it from you. This of course is a little heavenly humor, my son. The journey through trials may not be just for your own experience or need but for the needs of others. I am working through you.

Me:        But what if it costs me what I have earned, saved, and possess? What if it costs me my friends? How do I know if what I am doing is truly your will?

God:      First of all, my child, wouldn’t you want to give up everything to follow me? You don’t need to respond. I know that you would.  Now, as for following my will, my will is for all my children to obey My Word. I have provided guidance to know what to do and what not to do. I have told you how to live your life on earth. I have given you strength to endure hardships, and you my son have seen many. I have also provided joy when my children walk in peace. My will is revealed in the Bible. My pleasure comes from those who desire and follow my instructions through the teachings of the Disciples as written in the Bible, and from those disciples who walk among you. You must be more like Christ, as you have read and quoted from Br. John Fiesole, “To paint the things of Christ, one must live with Christ.” See my dear child, I do know what you read and what you think.

Me:        I am sorry for my doubts and anguish over things that I cannot control. I know I am not walking alone. You are always with me.

God:      You are learning my son. Remember you asked in your prayers to use you. Also, remember what Msgr. Kevin Quirk would tell you, “It is not all about you.” You are doing My will. You are to emulate my son, Jesus, in all you do for me, for all I ask of you.  Your hardship may teach others how to handle their hardships by exemplifying your actions and behavior, or doing the opposite because you have let doubts and anguish overcome you and you are no longer emulating Jesus.

Me:        Okay, so where are we going?

God:      I will lead and you will follow. And also, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me,” Matthew 16:24.

Me:        The cross again? Can’t this be a leisurely unburdened walk on a delightful spring day?

God:      What do you think my son?

Me:        (Total silence on my part in a response to God) Anyone want to buy a used Honda CRV?

You and your family are remembered in my prayers and I hope me and my family are remembered in yours.

“Vocatus Atque Non Vocatus Deus Aderit”

Alex J. Nagem