By: Alex J. Nagem © March 29, 2025
Me: Good morning, God. Do you have some time to talk?
God: I am always here for you, my son. I am always present in your life. I thought you would understand this by now.
Me: You know, sometimes I am nervous talking to you. Your introduction doesn’t help.
God: Ah, the fear of the Lord holds different meanings, doesn’t it? So, are you feeling anxious this morning? What is bothering you, my son?
Me: Wait, you know everything, right? You know what’s bothering me before I say it and probably even before I think it.
God: Are you trying to pull back the veil of mystery that shrouds me? Of course, I know your deepest thoughts. Haven’t you read the letters written by St. Paul in the Bible? He states, “I, your God, already know everyone’s deepest thoughts. I, your God, knew you before I made the world in which you live.” Haven’t I repeated this to you in other writings in the Bible? I know you read the Bible and other religious texts. By the way, we need to discuss you not reading every chapter and verse.
Me: Always a test. Every day, I am tested by You. Sometimes, my mind drifts when I read the Bible. I try to interpret what I am reading. There is symbolism in the Bible that I don’t always understand. As for other writings, I have read Jeremiah, Psalms, Isaiah, John, and Galatians. How’s that?
God: Why shouldn’t you be tested each day? Do you think you should have a carefree life? That kind of life was lost for you with the first couple. If you read all the chapters and verses in the Bible, maybe you would have known this. It is good that you know about these five writings, but what about the chapter and verse from each?
Me: The nervous feeling is coming over me again. I thought I did well with remembering these five. Must there always be a test?
God: Of course, you did well, my son. Yes, there will always be a test. What did you want to ask me? Have you forgotten, or should I remind you?
Me: I did not forget what I wanted to ask you. I feel nervous when we talk sometimes, though I do feel better afterwards.
Have I missed something in my life? Sometimes, my desires go beyond what has been provided through your generous blessings. I try to curtail these desires, but sometimes, I want my days to be less burdensome. Did the Desert Fathers have the same wants?
God: Yes, I know you feel better after talking to Me. I wish all my children would talk more to Me. My love for you is beyond your comprehension. I have provided for all your earthly needs. I even allowed the sacrifice of My Son, Jesus, for the sins committed against Me and others.
Yes, the desert fathers had these wants that you mentioned. They fled to the desert to find solitude. They wanted a deeper connection with Me. They followed My Son’s life of poverty and self-denial as an example for their life. They aimed to renounce worldly distractions and focus on prayer, fasting, and spiritual growth.
Me: I am grateful for your love and everything that has been provided for me. There is much envy and material desire that distract a religious life. There are days I wish to emulate Jesus and the Desert Fathers more. I pray, fast, and strive to focus on my spiritual growth. But the distractions are still there.
God: I hear your prayers each night and day. You say many prayers each day. I like this. I like that you give me honor and praise each day. You are headed in the right direction by looking to the Desert Fathers and My Son as examples to emulate.
Me: I have much to be thankful for, especially each new sunrise and sunset with my wife. There was a time when I thought each day would be our last and her soul would return to you. We both said that we would accept your will for us no matter the outcome. That was not easy to do. Talking to you gives me comfort. I need to get over the nervousness. I remind myself that no matter what I ask in the name of Jesus, what you have in store for me that counts.
God: You are learning, my son. I know you are thankful. I do hear your prayers. Though you have free will to do what you want, you make Me happy that you try to follow my teachings and accept my will. Are you nervous because of things you have done and said, or maybe what you haven’t done and spoken?
Me: You know me well. Wait! Of course you do. I am not over the first nervous feeling. I don’t need to add another. I realize my free will has caused problems for me. Thank you for being patient with me and forgiving my sins. Wait, is this another test?
God: Yes, every day is a test to see if you are following My Commandments and the teachings of My Son, Jesus. I wish more of my children would talk to Me as you do. I am here for everyone, even if they don’t realize my presence. I know what is in your heart, but I do like to hear the words spoken. A few minutes each day talking to Me would cure many problems, wouldn’t it?
Me: I try to exemplify your teachings, except when a few choice words are spoken out of anger or frustration. I am trying to change this. I need to spend more time each day in prayer and thinking of You and Jesus.
God: I have heard your choice words spoken. I also know you have guilty feelings for these misspoken words. You know, that is the first step in redemption. If you confess your sins against Me and others, I forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.
Me: That was from a writing of John 1:9. How is that for chapter and verse?
God: You looked that up. But at least I got you to read the Bible more.
Me: (Sigh) I forgot what I wanted to ask you. But I do feel better. You have a way of comforting my troubled mind just by talking with me. I guess I just needed to spend time with you in conversation.
God: I am always present in everyone’s life. I have provided for your every need. Everything else you may want places material possessions before Me. When you need nothing more than what I have provided and are thankful for this, peace and serenity will come into your life. Also, thanking Me is a manner of worshiping Me. I want you to worship Me, but most of all, I want you to talk to Me. Ask your questions. I want you to tell Me your fears and joys, though I already know them. I am your loving God.
Me: About the one thing that is always on my mind, the one thing I have asked of you. When will you provide me with an answer?
God: You know the answer to that question, don’t you?
Me: It is your will and will be done in your time. Yes, I know. I am impatient.
God: Your impatience does not cause Me to act in your time. It is always on my terms. How has acting on your terms worked out for you?
Me: Do we need to discuss the past misfortunes? I would rather just let them remain in the past.
God: That is where they should remain. You need to look forward to a better life with Me in Heaven, Of course, you need to follow my Commandments and be tested each day, though.
Me: I know, I know, prayer, meditation, temptation, and penance.
God: You are learning. You make Me smile, my son.
Me: Thank you. I do love you and want you in all my days. Thank you for talking and listening to me.
God: You are welcome, my child. I am always here for you, waiting to listen and talk. Remember, there will be a test tomorrow and the day after….
Me: Always with the tests, (Sigh).
“Prayer is, first of all, listening to God. It’s openness. God is always speaking; he’s always doing something. Prayer is to enter into that activity. Convert your thoughts into prayer. As we are involved in unceasing thinking, we are called to unceasing prayer. The difference is not that prayer is thinking about other things, but that prayer is thinking in dialogue, a conversation with God.” Fr. Henri Nouwen
You are remembered in my daily prayers, as I hope my family and I are remembered in yours.
Vocatus Atque Non Vocatus, Deus Aderit
Pater, in manus tuas commendo Spiritum meum
Alex J. Nagem