By Alex J. Nagem © March 8, 2025 (Rev)
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” (Reinhold Niebuhr).
We have heard or read these words many times. For some, these words are a daily guide to live their life. With these words, you don’t seem to worry about little things like the spilled coffee, the small stain on clothing, or even the slight scratch on the car door. For others without a serenity prayer, the first words spoken may consist of a phrase that cannot be repeated in Catholic Church writing, (added for its humor).
When our daughters were in grade school and high school, a phrase they used often was, “Life’s not fair.” Their loving mother would always respond, “Wait until you are older and living on your own to really see what’s not fair.” If they persisted with their feelings of unfairness and pushed Lori beyond her limits of self-control, the phrase would change to, “Life is hard, and then you die.” That phrase would quiet them until the next crisis in life, which would usually be within the hour. Both daughters, who are now in their mid-30s, would like to move back home with their husbands and live, or so they say. They both agree it was much easier in those earlier days of their life. The dreams of a happier, carefree time, seem to creep into our thoughts when serenity appears to have been lost. Another phrase repeated on those stressful days is, “Why is God letting this happen to me?” I don’t think God had anything to do with the spilling coffee or the scratch on the car door. Yet, we blame our Creator for these small inconveniences. Our days of tilling the land for food or being a hunter and gatherer are gone. We have all the conveniences in life we need until the next computerized or AI appliance is created. Have you seen the commercial where you can tap on the door to operate a light so you can see inside the fridge without opening the door? I don’t know if that is convenient, energy-saving, or just a new idea created by some engineer who had too much time on their hands. I remember my dad working on the rotary dial phone we had in the living room when the cord was pulled too tight and snapped so he would not have to replace the phone. Now we discard our cell phones when a newer version is on the market. Our secular society has the goal of making life easier with less stress and less body pains. We communicate by email, text, and postings on social media. Have we lost the days of sitting on the front porch talking to neighbors, and couples out for an afternoon or evening walk? Maybe my parents had the right mindset of working with their hands as well as their minds. If a new refrigerator was needed, money would be saved or store credit would be extended. Today, we have credit cards with limits that total or exceed our yearly salary. With all these conveniences do we have the time for God in our life? We should. We call upon God when things don’t go our way, or when a disaster occurs. Do we have time to think of God, to pray, or to thank Him for all that has been provided for us? If I am giving praise to someone, placing their name on a plaque, presenting gifts, and honoring them for an accomplishment or the amount of money given, am I taking something away from God? I do believe God provided us with our skills. All that is in this world belongs to God. So why do we take credit for something that is God’s? “The earth and everything in it exists for the Lord, the world and those who live in it,” Psalm 24:1. Wow, these thoughts must have been building up for some time. Glad that is off my chest.
I came across the lines from 1 Corinthians 10 in my readings. This may explain my thoughts above. “Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. Try to please everyone in every way. I am not trying to do what is good for me. I am trying to do what is good for the most people so that they can be saved.” The Serenity Prayer attempts to provide us with the right frame of mind to allow for the experience of joy in our life that God intends for us, right? The prayer, also, helps in those times when we feel pain and sorrow beyond our control. Of course, we don’t take pain and sorrow lightly, but we shouldn’t blame God for them either. Instead, we should ask God for blessings to endure with some patience for what we face. Now of course that is easier for me to write than to experience, or to experience again. We fear the unknown and uncertainty. Some situations are beyond our control. I sound like a parent, don’t I? It comes to me freely having two daughters. We are likely to make a mistake today. We may spill the cup of coffee, or scratch the car door with our keys. We may also receive an unexpected gift or be the giver of the gift. For all we do, our sufferings and joys should be with God in mind. God had us in mind for all he has done. We should give God the praise and honor he deserves.
“Peace I leave with you…My peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid – Jesus of Nazareth,” John: 14:27.
You and your family are remembered in my prayers as I hope my family and I are remembered in yours.
“Vocatus Atque Non Vocatus, Deus Aderit”
Alex J. Nagem
March 8, 2025